30 November 2005 Chamonix
They say that every country has it's own cobbler's last. Each nation seems to have it's own shape of foot, or at least an idea of what it's national foot should be like. I do not know if that is true, but in my experience it could be. Take today for instance.
The ski lifts have not yet opened in this valley, but we have a thin crusty under-layer and four to six inches of soft powder on top at 1000m. So, although allergic to unnecessary exercise (it gives me asthma) it seemed like a good idea to skin up the Kandahar piste in les Houches.
At first it felt strange to be back in the stiff Pebax shells. Over the summer I had forgotten just how stiff ski boots are. You have to force your feet, squeezing them like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube, on a cold day. You push until your once fresh, loose boned Anglo feet have been remolded in the foot-coffins devised by some Latin sadist from Milan. The designers have obviously been inspired by those iron maiden boxes you see in museums of torture. I have always said that the Tower of London has a lot to answer for. And my boots have also been imbued with some kind of supernatural power, a bit like my climbing harness. The harness, well it has this particular power... When you first reach for it you have no desire to go to the bath room, in fact, you have just been. So, you do up the legs, buckle the belt, rack up the gear and just as you finish, an overwhelming and surprisingly urgent need to wee wells up from no-where. It is one of life's great mysteries. My ski boots have a similar power. It is only when you have fought and won the battle to squeeze your now boneless feet into them and when you have struggled to close the buckles that you realize the hat and gloves are still upstairs in the bed room.
The skins; now they have been stuck together since april, but in any case they are designed to provided all the exercise you need just separating them. You don't really need to actually go out and ski. Separate your skins five times a day and you will will develop from a 95 pound weakling into a potential challenger for California's governorship.
My friends tell me how calming and meditative ski touring is. It is therapeutic. Well, all I can say is that it needs to be after all that stuff with the equipment.
I put on the skis in our garden, and set forth. The piste begins the other side of the garden fence. See picture:
The snow cannons had built up twenty foot high dunes of icy snow. The only tracks in the snow were animal tracks. Dogs, maybe foxes, a cat, some mousy thing and chamois or deer. In three weeks time the piste will be as crowded as a Caribbean beach. But today I was alone.
At my school they made us do an early morning run every day. Early means before breakfast. I used to hate that, but somehow an early morning ski climb seems different. In fact it was great. It was wonderful, and it really was therapeutic. . By the time I got back I had completely forgotten how much I hate ski equipment, how my forearms had ached with the lactic acid of separating the skins and how my feet had been tortured into new and foreign shapes. In fact it had been such a relaxing outing, that as I ate breakfast I thought I might like to do it again tomorrow.
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Posted by: Efren Chun | December 11, 2006 03:18 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Armando Whittaker | December 11, 2006 03:29 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Armando Whittaker | December 11, 2006 03:29 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Kole Lehman | December 11, 2006 03:43 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Kole Lehman | December 11, 2006 03:44 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Braiden Delatorre | December 11, 2006 03:55 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Braiden Delatorre | December 11, 2006 03:58 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Braiden Delatorre | December 11, 2006 03:59 PM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Jude Samples | December 11, 2006 04:11 PM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Jude Samples | December 11, 2006 04:13 PM
A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say...
Posted by: Steve Tenney | December 11, 2006 04:40 PM
A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say...
Posted by: Steve Tenney | December 11, 2006 04:42 PM
Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out...
Posted by: Trent Hopper | December 11, 2006 04:53 PM
Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out...
Posted by: Trent Hopper | December 11, 2006 04:55 PM
Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out...
Posted by: Trent Hopper | December 11, 2006 04:56 PM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Davion Pettigrew | December 11, 2006 05:23 PM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Davion Pettigrew | December 11, 2006 05:24 PM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Gavin Reis | December 11, 2006 05:38 PM
Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...
Posted by: Max Thorn | December 11, 2006 05:54 PM
Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...
Posted by: Max Thorn | December 11, 2006 05:55 PM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Brent Sumner | December 11, 2006 06:29 PM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Brent Sumner | December 11, 2006 06:30 PM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Brent Sumner | December 11, 2006 06:30 PM
Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness...
Posted by: Davon Humphries | December 11, 2006 07:06 PM
Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness...
Posted by: Davon Humphries | December 11, 2006 07:09 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Emmett Minnick | December 11, 2006 07:26 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Emmett Minnick | December 11, 2006 07:27 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Emmett Minnick | December 11, 2006 07:29 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Emmett Minnick | December 11, 2006 07:29 PM
TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause...
Posted by: Gunnar Guinn | December 11, 2006 07:48 PM
William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...
Posted by: Sheldon Southern | December 11, 2006 08:08 PM
William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...
Posted by: Sheldon Southern | December 11, 2006 08:31 PM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Stone Wilkerson | December 11, 2006 08:31 PM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Stone Wilkerson | December 11, 2006 08:32 PM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Stone Wilkerson | December 11, 2006 08:32 PM
Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...
Posted by: Rodney Steiner | December 12, 2006 08:37 AM
Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...
Posted by: Rodney Steiner | December 12, 2006 08:38 AM
Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...
Posted by: Rodney Steiner | December 12, 2006 08:38 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Brett Derrick | December 12, 2006 05:04 PM
Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Posted by: Andre Vasquez | December 12, 2006 05:04 PM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Brett Derrick | December 12, 2006 05:06 PM
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...
Posted by: Andy Morgan | December 12, 2006 06:08 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Esteban Quick | December 13, 2006 03:35 AM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Esteban Quick | December 13, 2006 03:35 AM